my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
