just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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