I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Randomize
