did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
