She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
