What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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