I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
