you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize