A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
