false alarm. still invincible.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
