so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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