You're so nebulous sometimes
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
