Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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