I can tuck mytits in my pants
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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