My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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