Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
