never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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