I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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