I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
