pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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