I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
