I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
