last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize