I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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