I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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