I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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