Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
