Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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