He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
