three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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