Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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