she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
This is my gift to your gina
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
