Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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