do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize