I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
