is your mom at the bar?
plz talk dirty to me
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
