so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
