ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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