Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
