Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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