when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
