You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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