oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
