He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Randomize
