I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Randomize
