Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I booty called her while she was in labor.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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