I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
