And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
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