so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
