Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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