So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
