Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
