Buhtt sex?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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