so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
