can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
