also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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