You really coming over, don't trick.
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
