Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize