Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Couch. On fire.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
