They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
