I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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